Why is this? Could it be that light-speed transition from never-ending workday to carpool to neighborhood grocery stop to home? Or perhaps it's the time-swallowing vortex, eldest-daughter-instigated, last-minute pancake-fest, evidence of which is clearly visible on every horizontal surface from kitchen to dining table, and the occasional vertical surface between. In any event, we have every reason to believe that the Fear of Limited Energy Theorem is at work.
In steps the Five-Minute Bedtime Challenge, only recently (30 minutes ago) devised and formulated by Alternative Reality SuperMom,* and now in Phase-I trials in participating households.**
Parameters are as follows:
1. Gather all household children in one place, preferably in close proximity to their sleeping quarters.2. Announce at the top of your lungs, In one minute from now, the [Your Family Name Here] Family is taking on the Five-Minute Bedtime Challenge!3. Outline the Six Challenge Requirements: Clothes in laundry hamper, 30 seconds. Pajamas on, 60 seconds. Bathroom break, 30 seconds. Teeth brushed, 90 seconds. School clothes out, 60 seconds. In bed and lights out, 30 seconds.4. Note the current time and shout, Ready, set, GO!5. Option A: MC the entire event in a loud, fast-paced, motivational sports announcer voice. Option B: In a fast-paced auctioneer's voice, alternate words of encouragement with a ten-second incremental countdown.6. Call Time's up! and reward your team by jump around like a crazy maniac while waving your hands in the air and cheering their accomplishment with all the genuine enthusiasm you can muster (for this part you might need to call in Alternative Reality SuperParent).7. With your last remaining kcal's of energy, run to your computer and let me know how it went.
Keep the balance,
* Alternative Reality SuperMom is the entity that, to the benefit of all concerned, took over Regular Mom's body just when the latter was on the verge of collapse. A SuperDad version is, of course, also available.
** If you would like your household to be considered for participation in Phase II trials, please submit your typed applications, in triplicate, to the Comments section.